November 9
School is looming over the hours I spend scouring Rolling Stone's website and flipping book pages. Tomorrow is the last of wearing pyjamas the whole day, after that I have to go back to boring, black and white (or green) uniforms. That makes me a bit sad. I've been living in my pjs and cute socks for a week.
On the bright side, our intrams will be held next week. That's always fun. I don't think my batch is prepared, but, I think we'll do okay. And we get to not have classes, just mess around and watch volleyball games. That works for me because we've got soliloquy presentations coming up and I haven't written a single word of mine. I didn't even choose an emperor to write about yet. oops.
And school means I no longer have to force myself to endure awkward meals with my family. But, it also means I have to keep a happy charade going once again. Like the cliche, overrated saying goes: Hide behind a smile.
I'm so tired although I've been in bed forever. And it's the worst month to be alive. Well, just the worst month to go to school. I can't wait until Christmas comes around. Maybe the milk & cookies and my holiday socks will cheer me up, then, I'll be half okay again. Half is enough, isn't it?
Getting swarmed with problems isn't something anyone will appreciate. School problems. Family problems. Existential crises. Early midlife crises. Wahahaha wow. Please *squeaks* help.
My feelings are mixed, like nuts. Missing her and not missing her at the same time is getting too weird. That's something because I've felt weirder emotions before. So now, I can't help but cope with it by eating a lot of donuts. Not to mention tacos.
So, yeah. [sorry i've been using that phrase/sentence a lot lately] I can't say it was a bad week. My nieces helped keep my happy levels up. But, now that I'm back in Manila, well it's been bland and boring and icky and awkward.
I'm hoping November will be kind because life is playing hide-and-seek with me and I'm not sure where to hide.
